I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
