lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
