come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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