I wish you could order shots online.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
