I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
