It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
