we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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