Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
