I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
