Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
