11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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