So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
