I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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