just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
