he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
