would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
