everyone is single if you try hard enough
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
