We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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