lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my being single is dangerous.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Pooping to opera.
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