What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
