I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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