The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
