There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
