great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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