All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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