Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
