help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
