How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
