I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
