Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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