Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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