I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
