he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
