so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
