I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just pee around me
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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