he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
