big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
