You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
