so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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