i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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