Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
