he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
