ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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