She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
zippers are such a cool invention
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
