i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
