I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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