lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
