We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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