My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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