I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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