just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
