yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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