I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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