If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
